‘I Believe You’: How JayDee Milo Became a Voice for Protective Moms Fighting America’s Dysfunctional Family Court System

By Catherine Jones, NSPO Contributing Writer

Photo of JayDee Milo, and Jaydee with Sandi Milo, courtesy of Mr. Milo.

​To the untrained eye, JayDee Milo might not look like a champion of single mothers.  Known for his loud humor, outrageous wigs, and viral TikTok and Instagram rants, the influencer has built a brand that, at times, feels more like drag comedy than advocacy. But for his millions of followers (many who are mothers fighting for child custody, safety from an ex, or to just be believed),  JayDee is something rare. He's a man who listens, understands, and speaks their truth.

“I grew up with a single mom,” he says. “She went through abuse. Not just with my dad, but in other relationships. And no one helped her. When she passed away in 2011, I felt like her story died with her. This, what I’m doing now, is me keeping her story alive.”

And it’s resonating. By turning his personal grief into public purpose, JayDee (real name: James Somonski) has amassed a huge social following, over 1.6 million followers, to be exact, using a mix of satire and straight talk about the struggles of single moms and the family court crisis in America.

His videos are hilarious, yet heartbreaking, and they hit home every time. Often featuring exaggerated characters, wigs, and skits, each post is a virtual Trojan horse smuggling truth into the public discourse. But make no mistake: his message is deadly serious.

A Moral Issue, Not a Political One

“JayDee knows this isn’t a right or left issue,” says Dr. Kreslyn Barron Odum, a mother currently entangled in a family court nightmare of her own. “It’s a moral issue. It’s about standing for what’s right, for child safety. He’s choosing to speak when others remain silent, and I’m grateful for him.”

Odum has lost complete custody of her young daughter, Barron, without any warning. She has no criminal record, no history of abuse or neglect, and no explanation from the court for why her daughter was taken. And she is not alone. Protective mothers across the country say their concerns are routinely ignored or mischaracterized in family court. They are often dismissed as dramatic, hysterical, or vindictive when they raise safety concerns.
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Kevin Robertson, a former Florida state prosecutor, criminal defense attorney, and victims’ rights attorney, explains: “I’ve spent 25 years in the justice system, and what I’ve seen, time and again, is that the system tends to minimize claims of abuse in family court. Warnings are brushed aside as ‘custody drama,’ and in some cases, the protective parent is painted as difficult or uncooperative, when in reality, they’re trying to save their child’s life.”

This is where a trend-setting social media influencer like JayDee, a self-proclaimed New Jersey native with a “loud mouth,” comes in.

 “Influencers like JayDee are giving people a platform, a voice, and a sense that they’re not alone in what they’re going through,” Robertson says, adding: “When an influencer, like JayDee, breaks it down in a way that’s real, accessible, and grounded in lived experience, it can be incredibly powerful. It helps people feel seen and educated, and in some cases, helps them avoid costly mistakes.”
 
Yet protective mothers are continuing to lose custody to their abusers. And others, like Kathy Sherlock in Pennsylvania, the mother of Kayden Mancuso, and Whitney Decker, in Washington State, the mother the Decker girls, have lost their children forever.

Whitney raised safety concerns and begged a custody judge for a psychological evaluation of her unstable homeless ex, but her girls were sent to spend time with him alone nevertheless. The result? The three young Decker girls were, according to law enforcement, murdered by their father during his custody time in a horrifying case that, tragically, could have been prevented.

Similarly, despite warnings raised by her mother in court, Kayden too was ordered to custody time with her dangerous father, and he killed her during his unsupervised custody time.

“Everybody says it’s so sad after the fact,” JayDee says. “But [these moms] begged. They were scared. They did everything right, tried everything they could. And still, nobody listened. Now those little girls will never breathe again. These are innocent kids who will never grow up. And they are just the tip of the iceberg.”

‘You Don’t Have to Justify Anything'

For his nearly two million followers, JayDee’s storytelling resonates not just because of his wit, but because of his empathy.

“Sometimes women just want to be heard,” he says. “They’ll tell me their story and I say, ‘I believe you.’ That’s it. That’s all they need to hear.”

Danielle Pollack co-founder of the National Safe Parents Organization (NSPO), which is the leading grassroots organization in the U.S. for family court reform, says JayDee’s impact can’t be overstated.

“When people think about family court, and a child getting abused or even killed by a dangerous parent who was given custody time, they want to look away and assume it’s an isolated event, but these problems are systemic court failures,” Pollack says. “By using comic relief, and taking jabs at what is sometimes an absurd system, JayDee helps his audience grasp that this stuff is real and widespread. He is reaching people who might otherwise stay in the dark about the courts and domestic abuse, and we are really appreciative of him for this. The more people understand the gravity of what is really going on in family courts, the sooner we can bring about key reforms which help protect at-risk kids and their safe parent.”

JayDee has become a bridge between private pain and public understanding. He gives voice to issues many dismiss or don’t really understand, like coercive control, financial abuse, trauma and its impacts, and the deeply flawed legal system that perpetuates them all when parents are litigating over custody.
 
“You know what’s wild?” he asks. “If a man abuses his wife, courts still say, ‘Well, he might still be a good dad.’ No! If you emotionally and physically abuse the mother of your child, that’s abuse of the child by extension. They’re watching. They’re absorbing it.”

It’s Not About Class or Education

One of the most dangerous misconceptions, JayDee says, is that this only happens to poor, uneducated women and children. He says Dr. Odum’s family court case in Georgia is the perfect example that family court abuses cut across class and are widespread and systemic.

“This affects everyone. Class, race, education level? Doesn’t matter,” he says flatly. “I talk to lawyers, doctors, highly educated women, women with their shit together, who are still dragged through court by abusive exes.”

He says he often shares DMs from mothers across the globe, women who thank him for making them laugh in the middle of custody nightmares. “It’s a double-edged sword,” he admits. “Every new follower I get? That’s another woman who's lived this. That’s heartbreaking.”

From Viral Videos to a National Movement

JayDee’s first viral post was a heartfelt video about his mom, Sandi Milo,  in 2011. “Millions reached out,” he recalls. “They said, ‘You told my story.’ That’s when I knew: this isn’t just my story. It’s ours.”

Through storytelling, advocacy, and yes, comedy, he’s become an unlikely linchpin in a growing national movement demanding change. And for organizations like the National Safe Parents Organization, his voice is invaluable.

“We need more people like JayDee speaking up,” Pollack says. “We need more people, especially more men, asking the hard questions. Why are judges ignoring clear red flags and granting dangerous parents unsafe custody time at the expense of kids? Why is coercive control treated like a non-issue in US custody courts? If a guy attacks and breaks his ex-wife’s arm, threatens to kill her, stalks her, kills the family pet in a rage, is he really a safe parent? Should he have custody of little children? Family courts keep saying yes. Why?”

JayDee is blunt: “Our system is broken. There’s no education for judges on coercive control. No understanding of how abuse works behind closed doors. And protective moms? They’re just trying to survive. They don’t even have time to go to the bathroom, let alone fight a legal battle.”

That same concern is echoed by Robertson, the Florida-based attorney who has represented protective parents. “Tragedies keep happening because the family court system often doesn’t take threats or warning signs seriously enough, especially when they come from a protective parent, usually the mother,” she says. “Courts often fall back on the idea that both parents are just bickering and should have equal access to the child, even when there are clear red flags.”

Action > Awareness

Despite the awareness he’s raised, JayDee says change must go beyond social media.

“I used to tell women: ‘You got this. You’re gonna win.’ But I stopped. Because the truth is—they might not. The courts often are not fair. It’s not a sprint; it’s a marathon. I don’t want to give false hope. But I do want them to feel seen.”

What’s next? JayDee wants to see stronger state laws, better training for judges, no quack theories that diminish abuse evidence, and nationwide implementation of protections like Kayden’s Law, which was passed by Congress and prioritizes child safety in custody cases.

Until then, he’ll keep doing what he does best: talking, listening, and turning trauma into truth.
“You’re supposed to love your child more than you hate your ex,” he says. “That’s what a good parent does. This isn’t about hating dads. It’s about protecting kids.”

And as he puts it plainly: “I’m just one person. But if one person speaking up helps one protective mom feel less alone? That’s enough reason to keep going.”
 

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Photo of Barron and her mom, Dr. Kreslyn Barron Odum, courtesy of Dr. Odum.